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I have been close companions with a woman, a person who's overcome many hardships, and I respect her for that. However, she has been constantly blindsided in relationships. Her spouse ended their marriage, which came as a massive blow. Many of close acquaintances disappeared at that point, as they were focused solely on the spouse. This surprised her. She put in greater energy in our friendship, likely realised more clearly what friendship was.

Ongoing Issues of Disappearance

Throughout this period, many close to her vanished without her being knowing the cause. Her previous job suddenly changed toward her, even though she had been very skilled at her work, and she left not understanding the reason for the change.

How Things Stand Now

Lately, both of us left the workforce so we're spending each other more, but I am finding my role in the relationship is as the audience. I start subjects but she shifts the talk toward what interests her. Politically, she expresses firm beliefs. My effort is to propose verifying facts and different perspectives.

She's been organizing a holiday abroad I've visited on several occasions and resided in for a while. I attempted to provide insights, yet it was not welcomed. She essentially solely sought me to confirm her plans. I recently returned from four weeks in that place and she wants to meet, but I don't.

Considering the Choices

I am unwilling to be a friend that walks away abruptly, however, I feel she will ever understand the consequences of her actions on my self-esteem. Currently, I am in distancing myself. How should I proceed?

Possible Paths

You could walk away, however, that approach is not often the easy answer we hope for. Yet having a direct talk aiming for working things out requires bravery and readiness from both people.

Experts suggest applying a useful conflict resolution tool:

"The first step involves describing how things go in your conversations. Aim for this to be as factual as possible like what a recording device would replay. Next is to tell her how it leaves you feeling. This allows for no dispute here. What you feel belong to you, after all. Step three involves requesting how the two of you can shift the interaction in your relationship."

Remember she too has a point of view, thus requiring you to be prepared to listen to her. One effective method involves stating your friend:

"It's your turn to speak and I'm going to remain silent for 30 minutes."

This can be effective in fostering mutual respect.

Closing Considerations

She may dismiss your concerns, since certain individuals hold onto a self-protecting mindset: they rely on a story about themselves they cannot abandon as it feels essential relies on it and it's all they've known. This poses a challenge as there is no clear path with these people, mere obstacles. But she may at first react like this then consider about what you've said. If a resolution isn't found a resolution, you'll have satisfaction from having been truthful.